22 Funny Bible Verses and Scriptures
The Bible contains 66 books of religious Christian instructions on how to live our lives piously and faithfully according to the plan and will of God.
But the Bible always seems to take on a serious tone and speaks about the direct consequences of obedience or disobedience of certain commandments and their correlation to prosperity and poverty, sickness and health, as well as life and death.
However, there are still a few chapters and verses in the Holy Bible that may cause even the most serious believer to chuckle because of the comedic context in which the verses were written.
For example, here are 3 funny Bible verses that will give you a lighthearted laugh as you diligently study your Bible today:
Money is Everything?
Bible Verse: Ecclesiastes 10:19
“A feast is made for laughter, wine makes life merry, and money is the answer for everything.”
There are a few sayings about money that we have all come to accept and repeat. One being, “the love of money is the root of all evil,” another stating that “money isn’t everything,” and the infamous Notorious B.I.G. song and catchy lyrics to Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems.
Is it just me or does it sound like this is one of the many funny bible verses out of context and the Bible isn’t necessarily advocating the endless pursuit of money as the ultimate problem-solving tool for every single one of life’s dilemmas?
Sex Joke(s) Verse In The Bible?
“If a man’s testicles are crushed or his penis is cut off, he may not be admitted to the assembly of the Lord.
Deuteronomy 23:1-2 New Living Translation (NLT)
and lusted after their lovers, whose sexual members were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of stallions.
Ezekiel 23:20 Christian Standard Bible (CSB)
These 2 Bible verses made me spit out my coffee while reading. While it is true that times, as well as colloquiums, have changed and we are no longer in biblical times, can you imagine being viewed as unholy or unclean for having a circumcised penis? Or reading aloud to a Church congregation a Bible verse that compares a males genitals to that of a horse or donkey? Certainly not with a straight face!
Having Wife Problems? Proverbs 21:9 understands!
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 21:9 New International Version (NIV)
Make no mistake, marriage and the holy union is a sacred thing in the Bible. God’s word says that he who has found a wife has found a good thing. Unfortunately, many men know the feeling of wanting to rip their hair straight out of their heads the moment their partner starts going on about something.
Proverbs 21:9 seems to be the ultimate nod in the direction of the husband who has to put up with a constant nagging and bickering spouse. Even the Bible understands sometimes guys!
Finally, timing, location, and context are everything in the Bible. Proverbs and adages are used and many of them often go misunderstood, leaving room for loose interpretation.
During Bible study, you simply can’t just read one verse in hopes to understand the entire chapter. Read the previous as well as the following verses as well to place scriptures in their proper context. But never forget that laughter is good for the soul
Funny Bible Verses
Genesis 25:30
“He said to Jacob, “Let me gulp down some of that red stuff; I’m starving.”
Ecclesiastes 10:19
“A feast is made for laughter, wine makes life merry, and money is the answer for everything.”
2 Kings 2:23-24
“From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.”
Acts 20:9-10
“And there was a young man named Eutychus sitting on the window sill, sinking into a deep sleep; and as Paul kept on talking, he was overcome by sleep and fell down from the third floor and was picked up dead.”
Galatians 5:12
“Would that those who are upsetting you might also castrate themselves!”
Acts 2:15
“These people are not drunk, as you suppose, for it is only nine o’clock in the morning.”
Songs 2:4
“Refresh me with apples, sustain me with raisin cakes, For I am lovesick.”
Sirach 25:12
“Worst of all wounds is that of the heart, worst of all evils is that of a woman.”
Deuteronomy 23:2
“No one whose testicles have been crushed or whose penis has been cut off may be admitted into the community of the LORD.”
Song of Solomon 4:2
“Your teeth are like a flock of newly shorn ewes, Which have come up from their washing, All of which bear twins, And not one among them has lost her young.”
Proverbs 11:22
“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.”
Proverbs 21:9
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
Ezekiel 4:12-15
“Very well,” he replied, “I allow you cow’s dung in place of human excrement; bake your bread on that.”
Genesis 22:20-21
“Now it came about after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, ‘Behold, Milcah also has borne children to your brother Nahor: Uz his firstborn and Buz his brother.”
Jonah 2:10
“Then the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah up onto the dry land.”
Funny Scriptures in the Bible
Then the Lord ordered the fish to spit Jonah up on the beach, and it did.
Jonah 2:10 Good News Translation (GNT)
I wish those troublemakers would castrate themselves.
Galatians 5:12 GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)
Stupid people say bad things about their neighbors. Wise people know to be quiet.
Proverbs 11:12 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
So he brought his soldiers down to the water, and the Lord told Gideon, “You are to cull out everyone who laps up water with his tongue like a dog from everyone who kneels to drink.”
Judges 7:5 International Standard Version (ISV)
Esau told Jacob, “Let me gobble down some of this red stuff, since I’m starving.” (That’s how Esau got his nickname “Edom”.)
Genesis 25:30 International Standard Version (ISV)
You poured me out like milk. You spun me around and squeezed me like someone making cheese.
Job 10:10 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
Elisha left Jericho and went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, a group of boys from the town began mocking and making fun of him. “Go away, baldy!” they chanted. “Go away, baldy!”
2 Kings 2:23 New Living Translation (NLT)
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